half asleep in frog pajamas

tom robbins, in 'half asleep in frog pajamas', writes in second person-- making YOU the filipina stock broker who finds herself in big trouble after the market crashes right before easter weekend.

this excerpt has me thinking. this is what's going through her mind when she finally gives in to the sexual charms of this wild guy she keeps running into....

'you snuggle up against the lump in his groin. when you kiss, you stick your tongue in his mouth. it's kind of exciting in there. of course, you are disgusted with yourself. never have you felt like such a mare. sure, you have been aroused before. for better or for worse, arousal is a feature of the human condition, and even nuns, even female CEOs, so you are told, do not wholly transcend it. it is the curse of the meat, and a woman must learn to live with it. 

no, a woman must learn to leverage it, to hedge it, to manage it, make it work for her; to politely sample its undeniable if shoddy pleasures when it announces itself and to refrain from either stressful fasts or mindless binges. she must familiarize herself with it, exploit it when it is exploitable, but never ever get careless around it. otherwise, it will turn on her like the lean and famished wolf that the maiden, in her innocence, invites to sleep on the hearth, and she will become its supper or its slave or, worse, its rival: a famished she-wolf who eats herself out of emotional house and independent home. she will fuck her dreams away and settle for lesser goals.'

so... whoa. i read that first on the plane, with terrible allergies. now if you know me, you know i can't handle allergies. the second time i read it was two nights ago, i picked it up right on that page, and then i just sat the book down and haven't picked it up since.

i need to finish it but first i gotta sort this out. because i'm dying over here, in the wild wild west, my vagina the whole sahara desert, no one surviving across.

okay okay, dramatic. but that whole sex piece got turned around with the love piece.. and now i'm on a fast with no reasonable end in sight.

can't help but feeling a little like this filipina stock broker here, even though her opinion is the one robbins is trying to change...

well its friday night and i could be out but instead its a bath and dozing in my pj's with 'frog pajamas'.